@Paul Barden "but even with hyperion disabled adalight is always connected to the wled instance. When I override the instance I have no ability to power off the light. Do you also have this experience or have you moved back to UDP"
You might want to look at LED Device Features, Fixes and Refactoring development item.
It does care that network devices incl. UDP will not seed updates when the device is disabled.
Furthermore, there is now a dedicated WLED device which leverage on the above, as well uses the WLED API to switch-off/on the WLED via it's API.
Hopefully, the changes on the hyperion/WLED integration & user experience will improve the situation you outlined.
Furthermore, it is planned to discover WLED devices to ease configuration, but a WLED change is pending for supporting this scenario.
You may want to test the development version or wait until changes make it to a release.